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Don't be a dick (apologies to Adam Hills)

March 4, 2017

It's Mardi Gras day. So here's what I think (I know you've been wondering)


This is obviously going to be about marriage equality. If you're bored by that already, feel free to beat it now. Off you pop.

I could kind of understand how you feel given it's in the news all the time, but I'm not bored by it. I'm just pretty fucking annoyed.





I'm bewildered that in 2017 this is a discussion we're even still having.


This isn't an original thought by me, but I'm going to repeat it here like it is.

Don't like the idea of same-sex marriage? Then don't get married to someone of the same-sex. Otherwise, mind your own god-damned business. I use the word "god" there ironically of course, because it's often our religious brothers and sisters quoting biblical verses in support of their homophobia. I assume those people don't eat shellfish, wear mixed fibre clothing or have tattoos either. Let's not even mention Ezekiel 23:20.


Regardless, denying 2 adult humans of the same sex who love each other, the same opportunity to have their love recognised as their heterosexual peers, is nothing short of a disgrace. It's government sanctioned discrimination, plain and simple.


As a Commonwealth appointed marriage celebrant, I grit my teeth every time I have to utter the words "Marriage according to law in Australia is the union of a man and a woman, to the EXCLUSION of all others......" 


Frankly it's bullshit. If you think otherwise -  you're being a dick. Don't be a dick.


I don't like tiny dogs, but I'm not campaigning for people to be denied the right to own chihuahuas. Because I try not to be a dick.


Marriage celebrant associations were recently invited to make submissions to the government about the issue. Some celebrants have voiced concerns that they may be forced to officiate same-sex marriages against their own personal beliefs. (Warning - controversial opinion ahead). If you're one of those celebrants - you're being a dick. Don't be a dick. Civil celebrants are secular. If it upsets your religious sensibilities, become a pastor or something.


It's this in a nutshell -  If your opinion infringes on someone else having the same rights as you -  you're being a dick. Don't be a dick.


Currently I can only offer commitment ceremonies to same-sex couples.  It's at the same price as a standard ceremony, but when (that's a when, not an if) marriage equality happens, we'll catch up and do the paperwork to make it legal then and there. I'm not Robinson Crusoe in offering this, loads of awesome celebrants make the same offer. And that's because it's only right. Because a commitment ceremony is a token gesture. It's straight people saying, "Here you go, gay folk. You can't have marriage but you can have this 'marriage lite'.


It's bullshit.


They say everyone is entitled to an opinion, and I guess that's true because here I am spouting mine. Here's another thing about opinions. Everyone might have one, but they're not all equal. If your opinion is mired in the discriminatory idea that "the gays" can't have marriage, then your opinion is a steaming pile of crap.


And if you think, "Yeah man, right on!", maybe visit  http://www.australianmarriageequality.org/ to see how you can throw your support behind marriage equality.










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